lovely day~

went back to central ballet to get my pay today... hehe:) well, played for the ballet rehearsals and exams for the year 2009, 3 rehearsals and 3 exam days... very satisfied with the pay... besides, i gave the principal some music lessons, tat adds up my pay too... hehe:)

actualy, besides my pay, i did enjoy playing for the lil girls very much... they're so lovely dancing:) it's hard to explain tat kind of satisfaction... when u played well and they danced well... awrhh... splendid!! i'm very happy the principal did appreciate my playing n teaching very much... she even gave me a bouquet of pink roses!! felt damn good and happy today~

anyway, i came across some nice quotes:

- live like you'll die tomorrow

- there's no cure for love, but to love more!!

- words can heal and hurt...

i don't like me!

why?

why??

and why???


i know i'm asking lotsa whys but why?
eveything happens for a reason...
but can someone just tell me why they're happening?
everything seems so easy,
and yet everything is actually so hard...

it's just another boring day of mine,
and my mind went wild and ended up no where,
it landed here...
asking WHY...?
and yes, i am waiting and i am hoping and i am yearning...


"IF"s...
"SHOULD HAVE"s...


"if i knew this is how it'll end up, i should have not started it..."


'GHOST ^^'
it's really so touching...

i've hungered for your love and touch...
again, why so??


okay, hoping everything starts well and ends well...
for certain things, hoping that it started and *will never end*...

random~

ballet exams ended... means i've done my part playing for those cute lil girls... hehe:) dun hav to feel nervous anymore... anyway, i saw a very cute handsome lil boy in ballet class last saturday... omg! he's so cool!! hah:)

.

phone giving me problems again... the sim card is all right now, wi-fi's turn, after tat it's bluetooth's turn... wat's next?? i'm up for it...:p

.

uh, i'm havin a very bad, i consider it toothache, gums aching seriously and tat makes my tooth aches and my entire mouth is aching now... cant chew properly... so basically i just swallow wat i take... sometimes, it's so pain i wanted to shout and yell!!

.

well, i pass by starbucks just now... the environment is so lovely... dim lightings all around... imagine, dim lights, with instrumental music or some love songs, spice it up with a cup of hot mocha and be around with your loved ones... awhh... it's just so gorgeous!! and i pass by indulgence tis afternoon, there were very nice balloons out there... colours are sweet pale pink and black... how nice...

.

okay, wat i yearn for now is --- a job i desire at a place i would like... looking back, it's now end of april, if things dint change, i'm suppose to move in to the campus's accom hall next tuesday... well, things wouldnt not change isn't it? so make the changes worth... hehe:) uhm, 5 more days to May... phew!! time flies... cherish every moment people... hehe:) till then, c ya...

.

a trip to kl:)

just came back from kl... tiring!! uhm, overall nice trip but then particularly from my point of view, not realy... cuz of certain stuffs... not gonna mention here, but i'll keep going>>

.

went on saturday nite, right after my ballet rehearsal, i just had a quick dinner in the car... tis time, i was kinda smart, hah:) i lead the way to uncle's house in shah alam... kinda pressure cuz i can make no wrong turnings or exits... so we actualy reached safely... ^^

.

early sunday morning, aunt brought me to levi's warehouse sales... happie with it... cuz i got myself 3 tops and 1 jeans... love the stuffs i got very much:) thou few hundreds spent... after lunch, went to sunway... shopping again! hehe:) bought nothin cuz i'm satisfied with the morning hunt...

.

dinner time - yummie!! we had klang bak kut teh... kinda reunion, 4 families having together... for the 1st time, i actualy love the meat... lols:) usually i'm "vegetarian" when it comes to bak kut teh... i'll only take the soup but tis is nice... uh, but then uncle says jb bak kut teh is even yummier... here i am, hungry again when i thought of it :p

.

went to usj area to do somethin tis noon, head back to ipoh around evening time... too bad it's after 5pm... so kinda jam... oh ya, listen to a few very loving songs on the way back, which made me happy yet sad, hoping yet losing hope at the same time... okay, so music controls huh?

.

anyway, it's SUPER HOTTT!!! same goes to kl & ipoh... oh my!! a trip to genting or camerons will be lovely... on the way back, dad suggested tat we go genting, too bad sisters having school tomorrow...

.

back to my phone, now that it can read the sim card, the wi-fi is not working at all!! it just couldn't be perfect... haih... can't the phone just stop being naughty?? by the way, i can see no stars in the lonely sky tonite... hopefully it'll rain... so tat i can have a good sleep:) miss u guys anyways... muax:)

.

ain't nice mood~

my phone is makin me nuts... just don't know why it is always "no network coverage" or "no access to network"... tis made me missed all the important incoming phone calls and texts... and i cant text or call when i need to... tis is spoiling my mood!!

.

oh yes, having the last ballet rehearsal tomorrow... exams will be on wednesday thursday and friday... kinda nervous... anyway, will do my best...

.

so gonna go to kl once again tomoro... it's like goin to kl every 2 weeks since last month... with fear everytime, cuz m goin for some important stuffs... so tis time, it's another important task... wish me luck and all the best would ya?

.

okay, i know i'm kind of crapping alrdy... moodless... gonna sign off from here... bye peepz:)

what does my bday mean?

What Does My Birthday Mean:

You often have problem in promoting yourself,

just because you don't know how to express your true self...

On the other hand, you don't really care what they think. This is why

people misunderstand you...

until they really get a chance to learn about your pleasant personality.

Opposite sex finds you

mysterious and worth searching.

Your wit is remarkable but sometimes you are too fast to follow.

Your Love, You won't reveal your feeling even after dreaming about the same guy over and over.

Your first love lasts forever...

You are responsible to the feeling of your lover.

The chance to betray your lover is none. You have luck with children.

Fill in my blanks for me...

i end up here... Cause -i don't know who or what to talk to... there are a lot in me but i just couldn't voice them out... i don't like this feeling... sometimes, i felt released, sometimes stressed, even blank... why so? there are times i wanted to cry out so much, but i have to hold my tears... i don't wanna let myself fall so easily... it's tough u know...

felt tat i've lost somethin... there's somethin lacking in me... excitements of life!! passion... goals~

but, for i know...

Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about

*CREATING YOURSELF*...

out of a sudden, i wanted to express somethin...

i love u dad & mum, sis as well...

i miss u my dear friends, besties, dearies and all...

anyway, i came across this... at least somethin to push me...


Dream...
as you dream
remember that only
you can make your
dreams come true.

Reach...

as you reach

remember that success takes time,

dedication, and sometimes,

a little disappointment.

Believe...

as you believe

you will find reaching gets easier

setbacks more manageable

Life becomes more meaningful.

.

.

.

> D R E A M

> R E A C H

> B E L I E V E

> A C H I E V E

.

.

.

Lil bitterness of my day...

kinda moody today... a lil bitterness in me>> just without specific reasons...

anyway, had my 2nd ballet rehearsal tis morning... it was again, great!! played some nutcracker suite for the improvisation part... had brunch there, ham & egg sandwiches~ long time din eat tat alrdy... nice!!

uh, had a long long chat with dad, mum, aunties & uncles yesterday, i guess bout 12 hours huh... noon till midnite... discussed bout studies and they bring up love as well... shared our point of views...

sTuDiEs - well, roughly, i have somethin in mind now... regarding future... i guess i'll probably take tat path... heart and mind started uniting now... still, i'm worried... for i'll regret... so i need another few days or mayb a week to have it decided... finally i see lights at the end of the tunnel...

LoVe - hmm, tis is funny... eventually, when i talk bout future, families will slowly glide the topic into love life, money wise and stuffs... kinda like to listen to their experiences... quite a lot to write so i'll not... just conclude a lil here, it's hard to hold feelings... sweet thou~

i love my w705, nice phone... busy transfering songs into it tis late noon...

supports needed for what i'm doing now... for choosing the best path... yes, every path is correct, there's no wrong... just that the difference is...

how u take that journey and how u walk it out...

*~shine~*

thou there are lotsa stars in the sky, but still, try to shine your best...

a new darl~

i've got a new phone!! it's W 705... i got the silver one cuz i just don't like the red one... love my phone very much... and there's wi-fi, so the best thing - i don't have to take turns to go online... and my sis & i did somethin silly, we chat via msn messenger thou we're just sitting next to each other... anyway, we're always crazy... besides, i can always listen to songs tat i loved... yet there's sens me, kinda interesting... btw, battery ran flat, haven

realy gone into it yet...

tat's the happiest thing so far, in these few weeks...

back to joanne's... uh, diverging paths, these few questions kept on popping up...

• shall i go for a degree? or work and at the same time get my ftcl?
• if i'm goin for degree, classical or contemporary? my heart prefers classical but my mind says contemporary...
• dad, mum and my teacher suggested i go for a-levels instead of foundation, cuz foundation requirements is grade 3 and i'm havin a ltcl diploma... but i'm not so interested in studies... i prefer doin somethin musical wise...

well, i'm waiting for my heart and mind to unite anyway... i guess they'll unite soon...

yeah, just came back from oldtown, had a chat with carmen... she has got a new laptop, she gonna study soon... just love to spend time together, do some flashbacks... hehe:)

Seminars!!! edward ho's seminar in kl, federal hotel... i'm in!! it's in May... anticipating~~~ i've missed his seminar last 2 years, finally i can go tis year... i guess i'll gain a lot in tis comin seminar...

i need PaSsIoN SuPpOrT WILL . . . i just need that *sparkle* in me...

Somehow, i just feel nice today... may the same goes to somebody... :p